AN OPEN LETTER TO MY DAUGHTER, KAYLA, ON HER SECOND BIRTHDAY

Dear Kayla Jane,

Today you are two years old, and I might be that stereotypical emotional Mother who can’t believe it’s been two years already.

BUT, I REALLY CAN’T BELIEVE IT!

AND, I AM EMOTIONAL. 

Two years today my waters broke movie style at 5AM on an early Sunday morning. Instead of being confused and scared as non of it was part of the plan (you came a week early), I had this overpowering emotion of excitement and joy — even whilst in labour. I remember skipping into the labour ward to tell everyone I was in labour, and they laughed at me like I was just another over paranoid pregnant woman. They connected me up to monitors, and it was true! I’ll never forget the Nurse say; “Get ready, she’s coming!”

I immediately knew you were a little confused though, because if you were anything like us, you wouldn’t be trying to make an entrance at 5AM on a Sunday morning. We are not morning people, KJ. Especially not on a Sunday.

BUT, you made a GRAND entrance alright. Something that’s been part of who you are since day one. You never enter any room without making a grand entrance — running into the room squealing with excitement, throwing your arms around everyone. Making everyone feel wanted and loved.

Oh, you are everything I dreamed about. And we tried so hard for you.

I’ll never forget when I saw you on the Fertility Treatment Rooms screen. You’re a miracle. After months and months of trying and heart ache longing for you, I had never had a mature egg follicle. And while you’re meant to have a few: I’ll never forget how that one month we did a scan and THERE YOU WERE. JUST YOU. We were assessing next treatment steps as we were convinced the last treatment didn’t work, and to our shock & excitement… you appeared on the screen. I saw my Kayla Jane on a screen. She managed to make a grand entrance, all by herself — right from the start.

You were ready for the world. 

And despite being told I had an 8% chance of ever having a mature follicle and then a 20% chance of ever making you a reality after seeing you on that screen; you are TWO today and have changed the course of our lives. Forever.

I am so proud of you.

While your first birthday was epic in its own right, this one somehow seems like even more of a milestone. You are now talking, baking cakes with me, blowing out candles, opening up presents in pure delight, singing Happy Birthday, and telling us NON-stop that you’re turning “TWOOOO!”

You astound me every day with your increasing vocabulary, your humour, the incredible role you play as a big Sister, and your ability to pick up on context and social cues. You are listening to everything, and copying our every move.

You call Olivia “Lulu”, and she looks up to you in every single way possible. She is so lucky to have you.

No matter how many photos or videos I take of this precious time, this has already become one of those ages that I wish I could freeze in amber and pull out to enjoy years from now in all its fullness and freshness. We tried to freeze the moment as best we could and did this incredible photoshoot with Tracy Lee Photography to remember your second birthday, forever and ever. And I couldn’t be happier.

These photo’s will be cherished and adored for eternity, and I can’t wait for you to one day look back at them. I don’t even want to think about that ‘one day’ when you all grown up, but I know how fast time is flying. It was just the other day you were born.

Your radiant smile and bursting happiness overflows in these magical photo’s.

You’re friendly, outgoing and loud. And while you might be only 24 months old; you like things to be done properly, ethically, and neatly. Just yesterday you told me I was a “naughty Mama” when I got flustered in the traffic driving you to your photoshoot. If we do something wrong, you tell us. If it’s hot, you warn us to “don’t touch!” You clean up after yourself, get paper to wipe mess on the floors or your Sisters dirty mouth. You say sorry and please, and feel pain if someone else hurts themself.

You love routine, your bike, school, the park, and tea time. I’ve never met anyone more determined, and I hope you stay determined forever. You love dancing, even when there’s no music. You dance to the beat of your own souls drums. And wow, do you love music and bath time. Preferably together (hence, the pure joy in these photo’s).

Your favourite songs aren’t nursery rhymes. Your bunny needs to go wherever you go, and you love everything Mickey Mouse. But your number one human being has to be your Father. He went away for a week last month, and I could see how much you longed for him and missed him. When he gets home from work, you squeal “DADA” so loud the neighbours can hear. And then the fun begins!

You like lots of action, speed, and noise. You are stronger than I ever was. But you love to wind down after a busy day by setting the table and eating dinner with your family. And while I can see you’re becoming a little girl and you’re not our little baby anymore – you still find comfort in asking for your milk “Bottie” and resting your tired big blue-green eye’s on your pillow in your cot.

I love you more than you can possibly know, and I love that I can feel so much love coming back from you. You give big humongous hugs, but they don’t last too long because you on to hugging the next person or thing.

You love too much, my darling Kayla.

You are independent, brave and fearless. And every moment that you’re asleep feels like a wasted opportunity to spend quality time with you.

(Although, you’ve caught on after DAY 1 and don’t make any more grand entrances at 5am anymore. You wake up after 7am everyday, thankfully.)

You made me a MOM, today – two years ago. You are my first born. 

I longed for you longer than you’ll ever know. I love you more than you’ll ever understand. I cherish and adore you, every second of the day. When you smile, I grin. When you laugh, I giggle.

You’re my happiness, Kayla Jane Knox.

YOU make me a better Mom, and Dad, Livvy and I are complete with you in our lives.

Happy second birthday to my precious little KJ. Here’s to another year of fun, and adventure.

I love you to the moon and back,
Your Mommy.

PHOTOGRAPHY:Tracy Lee Photography | Find her on Facebook, Instagram or contact her on 082 335 2642 / info@tracyleephotography.co.za for all beautiful family portraiture: Maternity, newborn, cake smash, family shoots & events.
STUDIO LOCATION AND BACKDROPS: Bryanston, Johannesburg. At Tracy Lee Photography’s Studio. 
SMASH CAKE: Made by me thanks to Bake It Yourself (Vanilla cake batter and icing, with some red food colouring added). The easiest and most delicious cake, cupcakes, and cookie ingredients! Ingredients ready made delivered to your door – just snip it, pour it, and shove it in the oven! MAGIC! Find them on Instagram at @BakeItYourselfBIY OR ORDER ONLINE HERE.
OUTFITS: Mickey Mouse Printed Tops from Panda Love. Find them at @PandaLoveJozi on Instagram and SHOP ONLINE at Panda Love Jozi. They can custom make anything you desire, or shop their ranges from decor, prints, gifts etc.
MILESTONE BOARD: Designed and printed by Hey Mama Life.
BALLOONS: Flower Boss, Bryanston.

 

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